Saturday, May 9, 2009

Twitter Tweakers

OK so I must admit I never much liked the idea of Twitter...why? Mainly because it was popular and I labor under the fantasy that I am a non-conformist (and yes, I'm aware I'm on MySpace and Facebook and I have a worthless blog, this is why it's a fantasy). But, at least MySpace and Facebook have other applications...I can add music on MySpace, post photos, videos, blog, keep in touch with friends on these networking sites. What is the point of Twitter? So I can obsessively follow every footstep of my favorite celebs? So I can stay abreast of each mundane task of my friends' daily lives? Do I care if you're going to the doctor for something that looks infected? Am I really interested in the fact that John Mayer's penis fell asleep when he crossed his legs for too long?

Twitter feeds into many negative aspects of the internet. Number one being the ever-growing celebrity obsession. It's not enough that we have, at times, moment by moment paparazzi photos of these people, that we have TMZ lurking on every corner waiting for that crucial moment when the celebs exit a fancy restaurant so we can, in a sense, tie off and get a celeb-fix. And what's worse, these celebs are actually posting on themselves (don't complain about wanting your privacy anymore, Hollywood, you sold it out to Twitter).

Number two is that Twitter feeds into our self-serving narcissism. Do we really think we are that important that there are enough people out there who care to read about our every move? I have no delusions about the popularity of my blog, I know my words fall on deaf ears (or in this case, averted eyes), I know my place in this digital abyss. No one cares. Twitter maintains that it's a new way to keep in touch with friends and family...I have a phone. Anything worth knowing is worth calling you for. Twitter is an excuse to share those annoying details that we're frankly too embarrassed to call our friends and family members about because they'll just hang up. So someone created a website for those tedious facts. Great.

Number three could be the antithesis of number two in that perhaps you're not narcissistic at all but longing for a sense of importance. You tweet and send your 140 characters flittering through binary space hoping someone, anyone, cares enough to read. And nothing quite boosts your digital ego like gaining a follower, even if they're Twitter whores adding anyone and everyone to boost their own numbers. The internet is no place to seek out personal affirmation.

Of course, as some of you may know, I am a huge fan of Queen Rania of Jordan. I came across her during an intercultural study and am fascinated (and admittedly a little turned on) by this woman. If you haven't seen her, Google her...I'll wait, go on...........OMG ISN'T SHE HOT?! OK so anyways, this woman, going against the grain has broken away from traditional royals and busted head first into the digital world. She pulled me into YT, forcing me to create my own channel and videos, and now she's dragging me kicking and screaming onto Twitter. Now I am human and a little hypocritical, so I'm going to call myself out and admit I'm suffering from numbers 1 and 3 of the preceding points. I joined to read her posts and now I have regrettably tweeted twice. I feel so dirty. I posted on my lack-luster activities and loudly pronounced my disgust for the site (while in turn conforming and supporting the's a plague!). I will do my best to avoid it or at least tweet about significant moments (i.e. QR posted, "met the pope"...oh yeah, much better than John's sleepy little john).

If you must conform, stalk, self-indulge, or self-destruct, please keep in mind...tweet responsibly.

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